The 4^th August 2013 was the day when a catastrophic accident left me paralysed and changed EVERYTHING.  And the decade since has been tough in a way that few could ever understand.  Not just for me of course, but for Linda, Kirsty and Vicky too.

For me, the 24/7 chronic pain is now by far the worst thing.  And the risk of skin breakdown and bowel problems remain ever present – far worse than just not being able to walk. For Linda and the girls it’s the loss of a ‘normal’ husband and dad.  And the understandable concern almost every time I leave the house.  (Accident prone?  Me?!)

We’ve seen a few friends drift away in recent years – a pity, but maybe it’s what happens when people don’t see you as often.  I think there are probably only around four friends’ houses I could physically get into, and trips to some places where friends meet are often difficult if not impossible.  Sadly, spontaneity goes out of the window sadly.  Maybe there are other reasons – in any event, it’s a shame.  We sure as hell value the friendship of those who stick with us.  But we’ve made some lovely new friends who we wouldn’t have met were it not for our new reality – and that is wonderful.

I feel fulfilled in my new role and hope to be able to carry on writing and visiting schools for as long as my health allows.  I hope I’m contributing something useful in my ‘retirement’, and doing what I do now could never feel like a job even though I put the hours in!

So, forgive the length of this post but I like to take this once a year opportunity to mark such an important day.  Above all I am grateful to be alive after something that came so close to seeing me off.  I am grateful to those people who saved me and those who put me back together.  Above all else, I am grateful for the love of my family and friendship. 

I firmly believe that how we feel comes from within and not from what happens to us or what we do or don’t have.  We can choose our mood every day.  And I choose to be happy.

Today, I am 10.