How it began…

After successfully running Colleys – a business within Lloyds Banking Group – for 9 years, in 2009 I was unceremoniously told that I would not have a job in a new structure at the bank.  They gave my job to someone who had no experience of doing it so I won an internal appeal against this decision.  However, when this sort of thing happens there is usually no going back.  They put me on ‘garden leave’ but I wasn’t any good at gardening so after about 5 minutes thought, I decided to set off from Halifax to Lands End on my bike to see my mum who lived down that way.  And I thought I might as well try to raise some money for charity in the process.  I chose Cancer Research in support of all the work colleagues I knew who had been affected by this disease (which was quite a few as I had about 600 staff aged 50+ under my control!)  At the time I had no idea that a few years later my daughter would get breast cancer in her early 30s and that I would also get melanoma in my early 60s.

In truth, I was struggling to deal with being pushed out after 23 yrs service without so much as simple ‘thank you’,  So  by cycling alone for such a distance, I was clearly retreating into my ‘man cave’ and now realise that this was an entirely selfish thing to do – leaving Linda behind to ponder the future alone.  What a bastard!

I’d done a bit of cycling around where I live  and was a real MAMIL (middle aged man in lycra), but  I wasn’t  especially fit.  Indeed a friend described me as looking like ‘a black condom stuffed with walnuts.’  But I love a challenge!

To fail to prepare is to prepare for failure!

I wasn’t up against any time constraints, so reckoned It would be best to cover about  60 miles each day.  Then my only prep was to book rooms ahead in Premier Inns or Travel lodges which were reachable at the end of each day. Then I just stuck some waterproofs in a rucksack – together with – a toothbrush and toothpaste, 1 spare pair of Lycra bib shorts, 1 spare pair of socks, a thin pair of pants for the evening, 1 T shirt and a fleece.  A makeshift map for each day was made by ripping out the appropriate piece from an old, large scale  AA route map book. To give you an idea, my daily route usually covered a piece of paper about 4 inches long!  (NB this was 2009 – we didn’t have sat nav on our primitive mobiles back then!!)  I now realise I had done zero sensible preparation for the ride… but that’s me all over I guess.  Anyway, off I went…

 To encourage sponsorship – especially from my erstwhile colleagues, I sent daily updates out.  So here they are:

Brian’s Big Bike Adventure – August 2009

Day 1

Set off for Chesterfield.  Stopped for a coffee at a roadside shack at Pennistone.  “Where are you riding to then love?”  Me: “Lands End”  Her: “Ooh that’s good.  Where’s your support team then?”  Me:  “Err… I haven’t got one.  Her: “Ohh” (and a look of pity).

Arrived at my friend’s house in Chesterfield without incident – 52 miles.   Going for a few beers with him tonight and it might turn into a session. Could be very foolish.

Use of rucksack rather than pannier bags could be a BIG mistake as back aching badly after just one day.  May need to visit massage parlour en route.  Decided I could use panniers so rang a local bike shop:

Me: “I need some rear panniers urgently – have you got some?”

Bike shop man: “Hopefully we’ll have them in stock.  What sort of bike is it?”

Me: “Specialized Roubaix”

Bike shop man (after a pause): “Errr that’s a carbon frame bike.  You can’t put panniers on a carbon frame bike:

Me: “Bollocks!”

So I will just have to get used to the pain of the rucksack!

Keep the sponsorship coming.  Sutton Coldfield tomorrow.  Wonder what there is for a lone traveller to do there on a Friday night?

Day two.

Chesterfield to Sutton Coldfield.  Despite hangover caused by night out with mate, day started well enough, passing beautiful Derbyshire scenery.  Sunshine, poppy fields, wheat, corn and all sorts of wildlife.  What could be better?  Then it all went wrong.

Got lost in Derby City Centre.  Ended up on a bypass, then realised ‘M’ after the road number (A38M) probably means bikes shouldn’t be there.  Carried bike over a barrier.  Cycled through school playing field.  Got a puncture.

At the end of a long day, at the bottom of a very, very long hill I asked for directions to the Travel lodge I was booked in.  Yes, you guessed it – it was right back up the hill at the top.

Got lost again several times and arrived at hotel after 8 hours on road.  Knackered.  Bad back pain from rucksack.  68 miles (should have been 52)

Day three.

Sutton Coldfield to Tewkesbury.  Much better. But desperately slow progress. 7 hours to complete just 59 miles.  Very hot and 20mph wind blowing me backwards.  Hill climbs were torture and even had to pedal downhill. I now know why people usually cycle from Lands’ End to John O’Groats (the LEJOG) as this means that the usual prevailing South Westerly wind is behind you helping rather than in front of you causing pain and tiredness!

Even more knackered, sunburned and rear end can’t take much more.  179 miles in total. Should reach half way tomorrow.

At Redditch Halfords, where I bought a new, spare inner tube, I was soooooo tempted to buy a £1 car wash sponge to stick down the back of my Lycra!!

What have I learned so far?

• 48 hours to plan something like this probably isn’t enough
• a rucksack is not the way to carry things – you need panniers
• you can’t put panniers on a carbon fibre bike – doh!
• you can’t soak your aching bones in the bath at a Travelodge – ‘cos there isn’t one
• the longest stretch of hedgerow in England without a discarded plastic bottle, or other rubbish is about 10 yards
• some third world countries would be embarrassed by the standard of our road surfaces
• doing something like this causes complete strangers to buy you drinks and give you money

Hope the wind dies down tomorrow or I’m going to really struggle as there are lots of hills.

Day 4.

Tewkesbury to Bath.  56 miles today and total mileage 235 so past the half-way point thank goodness.  Each day’s mileage is longer than it should be according to the plan.  But only used an AA route planner that just uses main roads and I am trying to use B roads where I can so that explains it.  Probably means total will be more like 450 by the time I’ve finished.

Strong wind against me this morning, but it got easier during the day so only 7 hours effort today. Each day at around noon I have wanted to just give up.  Maybe it’s the ‘wall’ that runners experience, but it’s hard to keep going doing this without another rider or support team to spur you on.  Exhilaration at end of each day though when the destination is reached.  Yes even a Travelodge sign looks exciting. (Remember that when you look at the new Lloyds Banking Group hotel policy!!)

Phone rang in rucksack at lunchtime.  Normally I would ignore it but decided to stop to answer it.  Fell off while pulling over and scraped my left arm and leg.  Phone had stopped by now so I rang Voicemail to hear a message that went something like this:

“Mr Abram this is Lloyds Customer Relations. We have a very complicated complaint and we’ve been told the person now running Colleys is unlikely to be able to deal with it correctly, so we were told to phone you.”  The irony of this situation was not lost on me and I cannot repeat here what I said when I phoned them back.  Had I still been properly employed at that point I would probably have been sacked for abusive language aimed at a colleague!!!!

An incredible downhill run towards Bath that seemed to go on for miles and I hit over 45mph for the first time ever on a bike.  Was hanging on for dear life.  Bath was lit up by the evening sun in the valley below and it looked fantastic.  And the best bit is – the Travelodge in Bath has, quite appropriately, a bath!!

Things I have learned today.

• if a bee hits your helmet at speed as you whizz downhill it will be stunned and will try to survive by burying itself in your hair – but if you are lucky it might not sting you
• chips are ‘good’ carbs, I think
• the A38 is very boring

Onwards to Illminster tomorrow.  May see rain for the first time but I won’t care if it means no breeze.

Day 5.

Bath to Illminster.  Total mileage now 283 so just 48 today. Just as well as loads of hills this morning between Bath and Shepton Mallett then it got easier.

The receptionist, when I told her my planned route said (in a fantastic West Country accent) “Oh, you dun wanna be goin’ up Radstock Hill my dear!  Lord protect us!”  Shit.

Almost as soon as I left the hotel car park I was grinding it out at just 3mph up a seemingly endless hill climb.  It’s hard not to fall off at that speed.  I did actually fall off today on the A303 but that’s another story!

Started talking to myself today which is worrying.  Even lost an argument with myself at one point!  Rained a bit but hot and sunny by end of day.  Most depressing Travelodge yet.  On a busy roundabout on A303.  It has a bath, which is good but no eating facilities.  Got taxi into Ilminster and had a curry!

Sponsorship hit £1,000 this afternoon which is absolutely brilliant. Thanks to everyone who has sponsored me so far.  But please if you haven’t sponsored me yet do think about it. Even £1 would make a difference.  Maybe £1,500 is possible!?

More things I have learned so far-

• the ratio of road killed hedgehogs to rabbits is about 3 to 1
• the most popular discarded chocolate wrapping at the side of roads is Cadburys Caramel and there’s an incredible number of Cadburys Caramel milkshake cups in hedgerows – from MacDonald’s?
• Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles make the perfect energy food when cycling for a quick energy boost. Almost pure sugar. Am on 3 packs a day
• the A303 is a busy, dangerous road
• the landlady of the Illchester Inn is grumpy
• too many Fruit Pastilles make you feel sick

A long ride to Torquay tomorrow and could be very hot so a tough day ahead

Day 6.

Illminster to Torquay. 56 miles today and 339 in total.

Firstly, a big thank you to Janet back in Halifax for looking on t’internet and letting me know about the ferry across the river at Exmouth.  This saved me about 15 miles and about 2 hours given my slow pace!

The day started well at 9am in a cool mist and beautiful rolling Somerset countryside.  Then I caught sight of the sea for the first time which felt great.  But then the trouble started.  Hills like I’ve never experienced before.  For every fast downhill run towards a seaside town like Sidmouth or Teignmouth there was a ridiculous, long uphill climb that nearly killed me – especially when the sun came out.  The last 10 miles of the day took about 2 hours.

Arrived at hotel 5.30pm so another long day.  But then everything turned out OK as my ex-colleague Paul Wareham and family were camping nearby so we met up for a campsite curry and a few beers!

A shorter run tomorrow to Saltash to stay with friends but could be very hilly and hot so a short day will be welcome.

Things I have learned today.

• Paul Wareham makes a good curry
• people now seem to be keeping their distance from me in pubs and shops en route.  Having not had the chance to wash my cycling clothes since I set off I know why – I smell very bad indeed. I was refused entry to one pub!

By the way – if anyone has any walnuts they want cracking just let me know – I’ve got a pair of thighs that could do the job nicely!!

 Day 7.

Torquay to Saltash.  43 miles today and 382 in total.

The light hearted update can wait until tomorrow as I must be serious today.  At about noon I heard that our colleague, Chris Hull, a Valuation Surveyor in North region has died.  Cancer claimed Chris at just a few days short of his 34th birthday.  A reminder that this terrible disease does not just strike in later life.  It respects no one and is indiscriminate.  Chris leaves a widow and a 3 year old son and our thoughts are with them at this difficult time.

My bike ride is raising money for Cancer Research UK, and the sad news about Chris demonstrates why their work is so important.

We can all do something to make a difference. If you haven’t sponsored me yet then please try to help. A few quid would make a difference.

If I was tired this morning, I am not tired this afternoon.  If I felt like giving up yesterday then I am spurred on today.

I will sprint to the finish line at lands End on Friday in memory of Chris and all the other colleagues and family members who have been touched by cancer.

Please chip in with a few quid.

(Edit – After this update, donations to my Just Giving page doubled overnight)

Day 8.

Saltash to Hayle.  68 miles and 450 in total.

A hell of a long day today. 68 very long, windy Cornish miles at the end of a very long week.  A 9am start after a late, boozy night with friends and arrived at my mum’s house in Hayle at 6pm.  No rucksack thankfully as my support driver (Linda) finally turned up and took it in the car.  This meant I had to decide whether to wear waterproofs all day or set off without them as I couldn’t carry anything bulky.  I decided on the latter option and then got soaked as it poured with rain as soon as I set off!  But the sun came out soon after and I enjoyed sunshine and showers all the way.  If I had been carrying the rucksack I don’t think I would have made the planned destination as the wind was incredibly strong all day and blowing straight at me.

Now, my dear old mum is 90 and the last time she rubbed Germolene onto my grazed knees after I fell off my bike was when I was about 10.  But she wanted to do it today!!

Finally, I’ve had a letter from a Mrs Trellis from North Wales who asks, “What’s the most common savoury wrapper in England’s hedgerow?”  Well Mrs Trellis, that’s an easy one.  The Ginster’s Pasty wrapper of course.

The final push to Lands End in the morning.  Only about 20 miles I reckon, so easy peasy!  Then I might go and get one of those incredibly popular MacDonald’s Caramel milk shakes!

I’ll do my final update on Monday when I’m back home.  But in the meantime thanks to everyone for the sponsorship. £1,925 as at 9pm so I’m sure we’ll be through the £2,000 barrier by the time I’ve finished.

With Gift Aid, the contribution from Colleys and matched funding the total will be over £3,500. Amazing.

Day 9.  Hayle to Lands End.  Just 19 miles today and 469 in total.

Well, I’ve done it!  Set off from mum’s house in gloomy weather.  After a mile I had to get the full waterproofs on as it bucketed down… the first really bad weather on the whole trip.  By the time I got to Penzance however the sun was out and I was flying along.  Reached Lands End after just two hours to be met by a small welcoming committee of family members including my dear old mum who was waving a banner she’d made from an old pillowcase saying ‘Well done Brian!’  Lump in throat as you would expect from me!

Had photo at signpost saying ‘Colleys 469 miles’ then lunch of a pasty and a pint of Guinness… and the combination never tasted so good I can tell you!

After lunch I rode slowly back towards the waiting car and bike transport weaving through all the tourists milling around… had to stop quickly to avoid small child… cleat caught in pedal… fell off in front of everyone and grazed arm.  So the very last thing I did on my journey was to fall off in front of an audience.  Brilliant!!

You’ll see the sponsorship is getting close to £3k and I know there will be more donations over the next few days so this isn’t the final total just yet.  The amount is amazing and I want to thank everyone who sponsored me. Your generosity kept me going when it got tough.

I’ve shared a few thoughts in previous updates… but what have I learned overall?  Not sure, but a few thoughts come to mind:

• When cycling, your bum goes quite numb after about 4 days and the pain doesn’t get any worse after that, so you could go on for ever really
• Despite all that time to think and plan my life out I have reached no conclusions… you tend to just think about reaching the next tree or lamp post!
• When you’re on a bike (or walking of course) you appreciate the things around you more than when you travel by car. You smell things, you hear things and you have time to take in all the beauty around you.  Britain’s countryside is stunningly beautiful but hard to appreciate from inside a car.  Maybe that’s why people think nothing of chucking rubbish out of the windows?
• You can plan too much. My preparation was abysmal really as I had a small window of time to do this before going on holiday… so I just had to get on with it.  Arguably I could have made the challenge easier by planning more… but I might also have worked out just how hard it was going to be and talked myself out of doing it.  I think it’s Nike who’s slogan is ‘Just do it!’  What a great rule to follow in life.

Finally… you can do anything if you just believe you can.

In other words everyone…. Carpe Diem… or, Seize the Day.

It would be nice if maybe Dawn could update everyone in a week or so with the final total of my sponsorship as I know there’s more to come from conversations I have had with people.  But this is absolutely my last communication with everyone I’ve worked with at Colleys… so, good luck for the future and thank you for your support.  Cheers!

30.09.09 Final update…

Total amount raised = £3,500 from individuals + gift aid £959 + £1,500 from the business, so a grand total of £5,959